Oafelia: a fat, awkward and clumsy Danish girl who stumbles into a river and drowns.
Scarlett O'Horror: Southern belle made from body parts of other Southern belles scavenged from local cemetries by Igor, deformed son of Dr. Rhettbutler.
Emma Woodlouse: Jane Austen arthropod with long exoskeleton and fourteen jointed limbs. Females are capable of reproducing asexually.
Madame Ovary: bon-bon munching brood-mare who repeatedly gets pregnant to pass the time in a boring provincial French town.
The Girl With The Stick-on Tattoo: Obstreprous pre-pubescent brat with a temporary tattoo of a pastel unicorn cantering beneath a rainbow on her left arm that fools nobody.
Daisy Bukkake: Long Island flapper who ... oh, I'm not going there. Use your own filthy imagination you pervert.