Customer: Excuse me. I bought this dream here last week but I’m afraid to report that it’s defective.
Salesman: That’s highly unusual sir. What exactly was the problem?
Customer: Well, it was supposed to be a Night in Paradise with my ideal woman dream...
Salesman: The “remember it all in the morning" deluxe dream, or just the “hazy recollection" budget model?
Customer: Actually it was the mid-range “flash of total recall the following lunchtime” dream.
Salesman: Oh yes. Number 352. That comes free with a fleeting daydream of a pair of enormous breasts, doesn’t it … Hmm … So what went wrong with your experience, sir?
Customer: Well, I was only five minutes into the dream and my ideal woman suddenly turned into a giant slimy lizard. And if that isn’t bad enough, I got the flash of total recall at lunch today and nearly choked to death on my sandwich.
Salesman: I see. So it wasn’t the dream system that malfunctioned, then, it was just the content of the dream that didn’t meet your requirements.
Customer: Yeah. I suppose you could put it like that.
Salesman: Well, I will let you return the dream this time, sir, and give you a new one. But please be advised that we won’t be so accommodating next time. You see, sir, the trouble you experienced is not really the dream’s fault at all. It would actually seem that is your own perverted and gross subconscious desires that caused the dream to malfunction in the manner you describe. To put it very simply, sir, if you were not so psychologically messed-up, and your soul not so devoid of true human feeling, the dream would have worked as advertised on the package. So in future, please do not blame the Dream Store for your own shortcomings and personal problems.