1. Consensus Thinking - as I've said time and time again, if more than a thousand people believe a specific proposition to be true, then there is something very wrong with it.
2. False Bonhomie - go and hang yourself, you horrible bore. I don't want to look at your two repulsive and deceitful faces.
3. Miserable hubristic bores who criticize the young for being young - the young will do stupid things and believe stupid things, that is what youth is for. As soon as I began acting like my father I promised myself that I would never forget what it is like to be young. Which is why I am not a bore.
4. Bores - self explanatory. Often confused with the stay-at-home, a bore is actually someone who persists in telling you something you don't want to know, even though any normal, properly socialized observant person can see that you are half asleep.
5. The automobile - cigarettes on wheels. A belching, farting death machine. Bring back the elegant beauty of the horse.
Obviously, you are not casting a vote for Kerry.
Does Kerry or "the family" own horses? I can't think of one photo of him atop a gallant steed. It is surprising because one can easily recall the equestrian photos of his hero, JFK and family.
Posted by: Janet Jackson | October 08, 2004 at 10:35
Damn, I'm guilty of all of them but the first and last.
I don't want to quibble with the last one, as I am not a car guy, but don't horses belch and fart?
Posted by: The Misspent Life | October 08, 2004 at 12:32
Horses do indeed belch and fart .. but not pollutants.
Posted by: stephenesque | October 08, 2004 at 12:37
Excuse me, but haven't scientists of some repute decided the the holes in the ozone are from the wind of cows. Since cows and horses have similar diets, horses are also probably contributing their fair share to the ozone problem.
By the way I suggest you get off the topic of belching and... because you are giving creedence to Mrs. Heinz-Kerry's critique of men : "that they always remain boys"....Can you imagine Sen. Kerry's private life?
Posted by: Janet Jackson | October 08, 2004 at 12:55
Actually a team of scientists - under my direction - have proved that horse wind actually patches up the ozone layer! No-one has refuted our findings so far.
Posted by: stephenesque | October 08, 2004 at 13:29
Living with cars and horses, I can affirm that each has its place in modern society. Horses belong in the country, where they can roam the unpaved paths, whilst cars belong in the city, where they can prowl the paved paths.
Reading between the lines, I think I hear a city boy yearning for the country life, a life refreshingly free of people who form consensuses, who bore us to tears and gang up in false bonhomie. In short, a life where horses outnumber people and cars.
Although after a while you'd probably complain about the boring cackle cackle cackle of the chickens, the herding instincts of the sheep and the incessant noise of the trucks and tractors.
Posted by: Outer Life | October 08, 2004 at 15:20
You bring back the horse and then some wise guy will want to bring back the donkey. Do you want that on your conscience? It would be better to focus on the other half of your brainstorm, the wheeled cigarette. I can see a market for that.
Posted by: carter | October 09, 2004 at 21:34
Let's get this straight: "youth" ends at age 25.
Ok, I'm sort of guilty of #3, but I'm, you know, smarter than my peers.
Posted by: Julia | October 10, 2004 at 12:08
Julia, surely Youth is Eternal, no? I certainly hope mine is!
Posted by: stephenesque | October 10, 2004 at 13:46
Carter, I see your point. I figure that the wheeled cigarette will run on smoke power, naturally.
Posted by: stephenesque | October 10, 2004 at 13:47
"Would that there were no age between three and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep out the rest; for there is nothing in between but getting wenches with child, wronging the ancestry, stealing and fighting."
Posted by: Julia | October 11, 2004 at 13:48