Beating the Economy Blues

If your job is gradually becoming obsolete thanks to pesky advances in computer and robotic science, why not move to one of those Historical Re-enactment Villages? - Hey presto! - You are suddenly miles AHEAD of the technology curve again! Boost your employment PROSPECTS, your EGO, and impress the BUSTY MILKMAIDS by taking your CAR with you! Make that bearded FOOL with the HORSE and CART feel like a BIG OLDE LOSER as you ZOOM past him at sixty miles per HOUR. And why not put him out of a job by delivering all those sacks of corn and barley so much faster than he ever could with his rickety, silly-old-twerp method of donkey transportation.
Yes! Living in a Historical Re-enactment Village can provide many "get rich quick and be a big shot" opportunities for the truly ruthless entrepreneur!
So grab your jerkin and knee britches, smear some mud on your face and enroll in The Past TODAY!
I certainly have. Inspired by those hardy fellows who tramp around fields in Lexington and Conncord dressed up in knee breeches, tricorn hats and frock coats re-enacting thrilling scenes of the Revolutionary War, I am starting my own "creative anchronism" group to re-create famous battles of the Ancient World. I'm calling it Trojan War Action Team (T.W.A.T).
So far T.W.A.T membership is in the single digit, and I reckon if it remains at this easily manageable number there should be absolutely no problem constructing a Trojan Horse big enough to fit everybody inside when we do the Siege of Troy.
Also, since T.W.A.T members are afraid of looking silly in our authentic ancient Greek robes and sandals, all battle re-enactments will take place in my apartment: The Siege of Troy will take place in the living room, with my couch acting as the walls of that great city, and Thermoplyae is in the hallway after lunch.

Comments

[Fcb]

Can we stick swords to the wheels of our Humvees?

[stephenesque]

I would have thought you'd have swords on the wheels of your Humvee anyway. I know I do.

[DarkoV]

"The Past is My Future" t-shirts are already being printed in gross in that country that was so in the Past just yesterday and is now our feared Future. Will we have to learn Mandarin in that Historical Re-Enactment Village of yours? Or is mastery of chopsticks sufficient talent for admission?

[stephenesque]

As long as you say "ye" instead of "you" and "thy" instead of "your" - we'll let you past the gates ... and "thou" is, of course, absolutely de rigeur.

[Bleak Mouse]

"Methinks," "what ho," and "od's bodkin" being optional, I assume?

[khh]

This was part of the backstory for Chuck Pahlniuk's book "Choke". Not a bad read although not great either. The main character worked at a historic village like described above. Very funny scenes where he'd be put in the stocks for wearing an earring or the like.