"The Play's The Thing"

Unlike those epicurean boulevardiers at the Social Affairs Unit Blog, I rarely attend theatrical performances of any kind. I am not a perfumed, mincing dilettante who eschews the unpalatable realities of the real world in favor of the red-nosed and orange afroed, ludicrously pantalooned whimsy of the so-called “stage”: Tartuffe? Krapp's Last Tape? Frankly, I would rather sit on a cold toilet and stare at the floor in strained, bowel-evacuating silence. My kind of drama is presented on the streets of the city. My Shakespearian soliloquies are the lusty cry of the fishnetted harlot and the mordant curse of the grizzled homeless man.
While the effete contributors to the Social Affairs Unit Blog are pinching and scratching each other in a desperate struggle to claim that complimentary ticket for Evita, I am observing the shuffling soup kitchen and the blue-toned junkie through my special opera glasses. Yes, I may look strange swaggering along the dangerous backstreets of the city slums in my bright white spats elegantly sported over shiny black patent leather shoes, my swirling stain-lined velvet cape, and silk top hat, but at least I care, and the poor, starving, rickets-ridden common rabble respect that. And anyway, last time I went to the theater it cost me nearly four hundred bucks if you include dinner – so bugger that!

Comments

[Fcb]

One can imagine a frisson running through the Chorus of the Night - "MygodOhmygodOmygod - McEsque himself is here! Best behaviour, best behaviour, pass it on... he could ruin us; and we'll all be back in MacBeth quick-as-mustard if we're not Top Form tonight!"

[Fcb]

Aaargh! Quick-quick-quick!
Hot potato! Hot potato! Hot potato Ouch!
Wikkiti-wokkiti-woo-noo-noo
Thumpity-clumpity Pap!

I'm so sorry.

"we'll all be back in The Scottish Play quick-as-mustard..."

[stephenesque]

This will serve you right for writing M****** in the first place! Cackle, cackle! - "Hubble, bubble, tongue of toad, liver of blaspheming FC Bearded, etc..."

[Bleak Mouse]

" Frankly, I would rather sit on a cold toilet and stare at the floor in strained, bowel-evacuating silence."

I recall seeing that play off-Broadway in 1992. Frank Rich loved it. I understand Philip Glass is working up a musical version for the 2006 season. (Any reference to "movements" will be construed as philistine.)

[stephenesque]

Very funny. I do do Glass an injustice. And you're absolutely right, he would be a superb choice for the "Variations on a Theme by Thomas Crapper" soundtrack.

[Fcb]

Who is this "Philip Glass" person you all keep talking about? I'm sure I've never heard his pieces?

Is this an american thang I'm missing out on?

[stephenesque]

Philip Glass is probably the most pre-eminent composer of operatic music alive today. He is American. His music is typically crap. He did the score for the film 'Koyaanasquatsi' or whatever it's called. His most recent work includes a "symphony" based on the albums of David Bowie. You ain't missin' nuthin'.

[rannva]

Some years ago I had the misfortune of attending a concert commemorating some of Arnold Schönberg's works. I made a point of watching the facial expressions of the audience members. There is an expression certain people have when they really really want to try to like something but uncertainty and confusion clouds it over.

[Fcb]

Oh I do sympathize - Schönberg I have heard, though rather wish I hadn't? What a dreadful century for art the last turned out to be?

One can only hope it was transitional?

[Quicquid]

Oh come now, Schoenberg isn't all bad. There's the Gurrelieder and Verklaerte Nacht, before he got all serial-y and stuff.

[Bleak Mouse]

Yes, there are the Gurrelieder and V. Nicht. Now name something else.

[Quicquid]

Two counterexamples are enough. Besides, the Gurrelieder runs on forever, like Bruckner on opiates. It should count as two works, or even three.

[Bleak Mouse]

Bruckner on Opiates? Wasn't that an NEA-funded concert series back in the 80s? I'd steer clear of the 847-disc CD box and go with the 24-disc Highlights set. I think they were giving it as a PBS fundraising premium in 1997.