My camera apparently requires urgent mechanical attention. Or perhaps I should simply purchase a more modern model. At any rate, below you will discover a photograph I took of the ocean from a vantage point high on the windswept cliffs overlooking Blood Axe Cove at Madman's Point on the Isle of Dangerous. It was here that the good ship Greasy Streak sank with all hands in that stormy winter of 1872. Beady-eyed local folk will tell you that the sinister, seaweed-clad specter of Captain Ahab O'Looney still haunts the rain-lashed rocks on especially windy nights. I saw him once. His shadowy form appeared through the gloom looking not unlike a small boy flying a kite. So I gave him a good, hard kick. Any psychic who claims that ghosts are not made of solid matter is a charlatan and a liar.

Anyway, when I was taking this picture I swear that there was much more happening upon the horizon than what the camera caught. My naked eye could plainly see a giant squid attacking a three-masted pirate ship, while just to the left of the doomed vessel a school of mermaids were practicing their siren songs and one of the Navy's nuclear submarines snooped around in the shallows searching for evidence of a secret Russian undersea spy station. What a picture, I thought! But of course, when I examined the exposed frame none of these interesting subjects were visible. You know, I think those purists who preach that digital cameras are not as good as the old instamatic film kind are absolutely correct. They aren't.
Whatever. If any reader who has suffered similar pictoral disappointments would wish to peruse my old photo albums adorned with fading snapshots of dinosaurs, aliens, bigfeet and other assorted naturalistic vacation scenes, please feel free to contact me. I can be reached at the Royal Society for the Preservation of Balderdash, 345 Madame Blavatsky Court, Wessex, United Thingdom.
(It's actually a picture of the nice sea at Martha's Vineyard, where I spent Thanksgiving)
It's got to be a curse to have an imagination that runs wild whenever it damn well pleases.
Keeps the Hounds of Boredom at bay, though.
Posted by: DarkoV | November 30, 2006 at 10:09