If, as his campaign literature claims, French presidential candidate Francois Bayrou regularly drives tractors and can milk cows with competence, then were I a monsieur I would most certainly vote for him. As with our forthcoming American election, the competition in France is dire:
Segolene Royal is a socialist, which is rather like being a betamax video recorder but with fewer practical applications. No farming experience and cannot really be described as buxom, rosy-cheeked milkmaid type, either. So not much use to anyone, then.
Jean-Marie Le Pen has two girl's names and an amusing last one full of bile-colored ink. Le Pen is non-retractable and should be put away in the desk drawer alongside those messy old bottles of typewriter white-out and loose staples. No farming experience. More at home in 'Animal Farm' rather than on a dairy farm.
Nicolas Sarkozy's last name makes him sound like the boring member of the crew from a fifties sci-fi film, the one most liable to be hypnotized by the aliens and then ejected into the blackest voids of deep space. No farming experience. Would have absolutely no idea how to wield either a pitchfork or hoe.
Just goes to prove that elections these days are more like sponsored crop rotations than political events: turnips and potatoes, both blighted, is my best guess.
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