From Scratch

I've recently received some extremely depressing news: at the chime of Monday's midnight bell we have to go all the way back to bloody January again and do it over. Then February, March, and so on.
I seem to recall that this happened last year as well, and the year before that too. Why can't we just keep going forward for heaven's sake? If you ask me, it's a plain, downright failure of imagination that's responsible for such regressive scheduling.
Fortunately, I have some wonderful ideas for new month names and national holidays that could be associated with them, but I'm not revealing my year extension plans here because the calendar people will obviously steal them without giving me any credit. Suffice it to say, Cupidary 13th will make the first of May feel like a wet Monday morning.

See also: Calendar Plans

And Keeping Track

Comments

[Jay Levitt]

It could be worse - at least there's no leap second this year. I find that antici[...]pation agonizing, and I especially resent having to reset all my digital clocks. I usually spend most of December practicing my calendar-page-flipping times so I can incorporate the leap second properly.

[american fez]

Actually, Jay, I'm hoping that one day they'll go all the way and have a full on somersault year with triple twist.

[Lloyd Mintern]

"Time is running backwards, and so is the bride." Bob Dylan (quoting someone else)