Although Roald Amundsen was the first man to conquer the North Pole, he died regretting that he never managed to complete his circumnavigation of Kenmore Square in Boston, Massachusetts. This infamous icebound New England neighborhood proved to be one frozen hell too far even for that brave explorer. Kenmore's giant ice floes, inhospitable tundra and man-eating college students were a frigid challenge the intrepid Norwegian simply could not face.
But I am determined to reach this winter wasteland where snow plough and gritting machine dare not venture. Indeed, I have already established base camp on a northwestern passage of Commonwealth Avenue, using sheets of waterproof tarpaulin, abandoned Boston University classroom furniture and a local Starbucks as a temporary haven from the freezing winds. Soon my fearless team of dog-sleds and I will penetrate the forbidding center of the square itself. And then, after planting the flag, I'm going to open up a Pizza Igloo franchise.