Kenmore Square: The Land That Public Works Forgot

Although Roald Amundsen was the first man to conquer the North Pole, he died regretting that he never managed to complete his circumnavigation of Kenmore Square in Boston, Massachusetts. This infamous icebound New England neighborhood proved to be one frozen hell too far even for that brave explorer. Kenmore's giant ice floes, inhospitable tundra and man-eating college students were a frigid challenge the intrepid Norwegian simply could not face.
But I am determined to reach this winter wasteland where snow plough and gritting machine dare not venture. Indeed, I have already established base camp on a northwestern passage of Commonwealth Avenue, using sheets of waterproof tarpaulin, abandoned Boston University classroom furniture and a local Starbucks as a temporary haven from the freezing winds. Soon my fearless team of dog-sleds and I will penetrate the forbidding center of the square itself. And then, after planting the flag, I'm going to open up a Pizza Igloo franchise.

Comments

[OutOfContext]

My college room-mate teaches at B.U. and I am to visit next month with my lovely wife--despite the fact that I have been warned that the cold will be 'soul-destroying'. As I am celebrating my 20th anniversary that week, I am impervious to such trivial warnings. My only concern is that I may encounter Ted Williams head, which I understand is openly displayed in February.

[american fez]

I'm not exactly sure what a willy-warmer is, but if I were you I would find out and bring one. It is Arctic here.