A transcript of a speech broadcast to the House of Pancakes by Neville Tenderloin, former Prime Eater of Great Britain and Defender of "Big" Ben.
I am speaking to you from the cafeteria at number 10, Downing Street.
This morning the Fast Food Ambassador handed me a large cheeseburger
with bacon and extra cheese and double fries, stating that if I ate it
all by 11.00 a.m. and also sucked down the Super Size Fizzo Cola he
gave me, a state of fulfillment would exist in my stomach.
I have to tell you now that such an undertaking has indeed taken place, and I also ordered a chocolate cream pie for dessert. Consequently a state of
gross and bloated satisfaction exists between me and my tummy-tum-tum.
Nevertheless, the claim has been made by certain skinny-minnies on the
opposition benches that obesity is a massive problem of global
proportions because many people in the free world are actually
beginning to look like big fat orbs with little tiny arms and legs
sticking out of them and equally round, double-chinned heads on top.
But I fart in the face of these dietmongers and scrawny, no-assed,
granola-faced whingers.
Indeed, I have in my hand a piece of paper from Chez Hitler. On it is
written the menu for the superb range of smorgasboard treats available
from this convenient eatery. And remember, receive a free giant soda
with every bucket of fried chicken wings you order.
It is truly a "Feast in our Time". Enjoy!
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