Leprechaun Brain

That most dubious of very public holidays, Saint Patrick's Day: a festival of binge drinking and verdant cheesiness featuring celebrants who conclude their stout-sodden evenings looking rather green in addition to wearing it. Top o' the regurgitation to you.
The dour, proto-puritan Saint Patrick, of course, is famous for hounding pagans out of Ireland with his dreadful Christian proselytizing, and then later demonizing these peaceful folk as "snakes." He is the death-cult propagandist who laid waste to a formerly bountiful land with his dreadful desert religion, so how amusing it is that his feast day has become such a drunken, rollicking perversion of his miserable beliefs, lately typified by that weasel-faced Pope Benedict demanding that Africans be denied the use of rubber contraceptives.
Mine's a shamrock martini, by the way, if you're buying.