Why I Should Stick to Doodling

As there was no "business" to discuss at our morning meeting, some overbearing busybody with nothing better to do brought up the tedious topic of office etiquette. "I wish the guys among us would remember to put the seat down in the bathroom," she bleated.
A reasonable enough request, no doubt, in normal circumstances, and normally I would have left the matter there, but the speaker was a grotesque and miserable cow whom I detest, so I didn't.
"That seems a pretty old-fashioned and sexist code of conduct to me." I said. "Since we are all equal in the work place these days maybe we should make an effort to be equal in the toilet also."
I could almost hear the eyes-rolling in my colleagues' heads, but bravely forged ahead with my argument anyway.
"Of course, I'm not suggesting that ladies should leave the seat up every other day on some kind of rota system," I explained. "But if both men and women left the seat at a forty-five degree diagonal twixt bowl and the cistern, well, perhaps then we can achieve some sort of bathroomological gender parity on this issue."
Unfortunately everybody ignored me.
"I was thinking it would be a simple matter of tightening the toilet seat hinges themselves, so that the seat can remain immovably elevated at the correct angle when the toilet isn't in use." I added to a quickly emptying conference room.

Comments

[Hrom200]

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[DarkoV]

Late for this but just wanted to let you know that, once again, you've offered practical advice for the most sapping of times.
When will you be publishing your pamphlet on "Modern Office Manners: Bite Me upon Exiting"?

[XRumer421]

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Riddle stepped closer.“It’s all over,” he said. “I’m going to have to turn you in, Rubeus. They’re talking about closing Hogwarts if the attacks don’t stop.”“What d’yeh—”“I don’t think you meant to kill anyone. But monsters don’t make good pets. I suppose you just let it out for exercise and—”“It never killed no one!” said the large boy, backing against the closed door. From behind him, Harry could hear a funny rustling and clicking.
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Their very last exam was History of Magic. One hour of answering questions about batty old wizards who’d invented selfstirring cauldrons and they’d be free, free for a whole wonderful week until their exam results came out. When the ghost of Professor Binns told them to put down their quills and roll up their parchment, Harry couldn’t help cheering with the rest.“That was far easier than I thought it would be,” said Hermione as they joined the crowds flocking out onto the sunny grounds. “I needn’t have learned about the 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct or the uprising of Elfric the Eager.”Hermione always liked to go through their exam papers afterward, but Ron said this made him feel ill, so they wandered down to the lake and flopped under a tree. The Weasley twins and Lee Jordan were tickling the tentacles of a giant squid, which was basking in the warm shallows. “No more studying,” Ron sighed happily, stretching out on the grass. “You could look more cheerful, Harry, we’ve got a week before we find out how badly we’ve done, there’s no need to worry yet.”Harry was rubbing his forehead.“I wish I knew what this _means!”_ he burst out angrily. “My scar keeps hurting—it’s happened before, but never as often as this.”
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