The Undergrind

I once believed that our continual operation of worldwide subway systems disproved the existence of any secret subterranean civilizations of wild men, giant sewer squids, or roaming packs of mutant rat-pigs that might thrive underground. Surely serious confrontations would have been forced by now between rattling commuter trains and whatever underground urban alligator colonies that might thrive beneath the city streets.

Lately, however, I have come to realize that since our subway systems are so timetable-disruptingly inefficient, such tunnel-dwelling monsters could quite conceivably never cross paths with a malfunctioning A-Train, cancelled Green-Line, or whatever other metro transport schedule has been abandoned or re-routed. Consequently, I have decided that when the next subway car I have the misfortune to be traveling on grinds to a juddering and terminal standstill, I will strike out into the darkness on my own in search of a friendly giant sewer squid and ask it for a piggy-back. That way I might actually reach my final destination without a mind-bending amount of delay and inconvenience.

Comments

[Fcb]

I expect it'll tell you "Finders keepers. Get your own damned pig."

They're like that, squid.