For a long time now I have been studying the amazing similarities between Chinese acupuncture and Haitian voodoo. It is extraordinary that two such diverse cultures, so geographically distant, should both develop systems of healing that involves sticking huge pins into things. And there are other correspondences, for example: the voodoo priest has his vacant-eyed zombies and the acupuncturist has his deluded disciples who sit on the floor in felt shoes while listening to endless, wheedling expositions of inscrutable concepts like ying and yang. If only these two ancient arts could combine their collected wisdom. Surely it would be simple matter for the acupuncturist to make a wax doll of his patient and skewer this image instead of painfully penetrating the body of an actual person. Using these animatistic techniquies, patients would not even need to be in the same room as the acupuncturist to receive the precision treatment that they require. If you ask me, Chaitian Acupuncture (CA) will make death panels a thing of the past.