The canine couch potato, despite its lack of comfort foods and fizzy drinks, is a particularly lethargic type of vegetative entity. It is the type of dog that any quick, brown fox has always dreamed of jumping over. Only a single, quivering, antennae-like ear gives any indication that life exists within the furry frame sprawled on the cushions.
The canine couch potato is not vexed by questions of space and time; there are no bone burying deadlines to meet; that artisanal cheese crumb under the dining room table will still be there tomorrow; those sounds and smells from outside must growl at their own provocations this afternoon.
I've tried preaching to the dog with Biblical proverbs: "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied." But, like the prodigal pooch in the kennel of its breeder, the canine couch potato merely responds with a drooping eyelid and a short wrinkling of an apathetic snout.
Perhaps the canine couch potato believes that it has entered a state of suspended animation; that it will wake at some future date when dogs have mastered the art of opening the fridge and making a chicken sandwich for themselves. It is mistaken, obviously, but you can't convince a canine couch potato that the truth is actually very different.
The irony here, of course, is that the canine couch potato should not be on the couch in the first place, but such flagrantly flouted rules of law are topics for another post.
Have you ever wondered how a dog that size can take up so much room?! Just try sitting next to it and you will find that the canine couch potato has expanded to such a point as to leave you no room to sit whatsoever.
Posted by: Giric | November 07, 2012 at 19:28
I have the funniest memory of a night sitting with my canine couch potato, she had eaten something that did not agree with her and as a consequence she passed gas. She sniffed the air, leaped from her place on the couch, and gave me the most evil look, as if trying to make me feel like I was to blame for the stinky incident. I could have laughed until I cried, but my eyes were already watering from the smell.
Posted by: Giric | November 13, 2012 at 23:54
True, and well put.
Posted by: belstaff españa | November 17, 2012 at 02:29
Dogs definitely occupy a different spatial reality than humans. They are like the Slinky toy in that respect.
Posted by: american fez | November 20, 2012 at 15:26
633A."It was over 50 miles from where we went in the water," Henderson
Posted by: belstaff españa | December 20, 2012 at 02:09