Once upon a time, the only form of writing I considered more boring and unpleasant than scripture was anything described as a 'screed.' Soon after my arival at college, however, I soon realised that the drearily named 'text' was, in fact, the most tedious reading matter known to mankind; and there was even so-called sub-text, a sort of trans-fat of the written word. Text was the scripture of the academic world, and students were required to compose screeds about the text. Extra points were awarded for questioning the sub-text, reading between the lines or participating in other forms of intellectual tomfoolery. I spent most of my college years staring off into space, leaning nothing at all, except how to spot a Chaucerian buffoon chasing tenure. Consequently, I'm not surprised that the current mobile phone bastardization of the English language is called "texting."