Egg of chicken, turkey sausage and pig crinkled into bacon. Look you, here be individual packets of cornflakes, frosted mini-wheats and selection of artisanal jams. Kippered herring?
Toasted and buttered, a bagel smolders beside a three egg omelet with ham smothered in ketchup like a detached tire at the scene of an automobile accident. It is seven in the morning. Elsewhere, another bagel is draped with smoked salmon and a slab of unspreadable cream-cheese. Cholesterol has risen before the sun today.
Er, just a splodge of yogurt sprinkled with granola for me, please. And that last banana. Thanks.
Oh, I'm sorry sir. The last banana is reserved for Prince Nabisco. I can offer you a seasonal fruit salad instead, if you would like.
You mean the mushy looking, pre-packaged melon salad garnished with a single red grape?
Oh go on, then. Twist my arm. Let's start the week off with a bang.