It was the eighteenth-century celebrity chef Samuel Johnson who claimed that when a man is tired of lardons then he is tired of leafy salad. Similarly, the offbeat Irish gourmand James Joyce remarked upon the inedible mutability of the vegetable in Useless, his great compendium of unappetizing ingredients.
In fact, all the Penguin classic authors agree: a decent late lunch requires protein, otherwise the average office worker might begin to feel lightheaded after a morning and afternoon of staring at his computer screen. Even a small, fried penguin can suffice for most office-workers.
Carrot, pea pod, Ranch dressing, ginseng, hummus, flax seed, Serbian truffle, satsuma segment, whey powder and the so-called "broad" bean: such worthless additions to any respectable dish are the last refuge of the scullery scoundrel.
Alternative acceptable garnishes include T-bone and porterhouse steaks, raw kidney, fish mash, Dodo scalp, eye of newt, wing of bat and pretty much all parts of toad. Protein, protein, protein.