Cactess: a prickly green woman, rooted to the spot, often employed as the waitress in cheap restaurants where bloggers dine.
Albaquirky: An obese, heavily bearded man in a ten-gallon hat, spangly shirt and decorative boots trying to cajole you into taking a stagecoach tour around town for $25.
Adobe Pueblo Architecture: what's left of Le Corbusier after you beat all the pretentious modern nonsense out of the man and leave him out in the sun to sober up.
Traditional Crafts: Transplanted northern American, wearing moccasins and wrapped in a colorfully variegated blanket, trying to sell you cheap jewelry in the shadow of Adobe Pueblo Architecture (see also Albaquirky)
Bleached cow skull: free art supplies found in the desert.
D. H. Lawrence: Anthologist of bawdy stories told by louche cowhands around their desert campfire.
Georgia O'Keefe Richards: Lead guitarist of ... oh, the Cactress has finally bought my lunch.