In the guise of 'Dr Homer,' antiquity's greatest authority on weight-loss, I am creating my own specialised diet.
It's a combination of the Mediterranean diet and the Paleo diet, so I'm calling it the 'Trojan Diet' as the menu consists of only those foodstuffs eaten by Achilles in his tent outside the gates of Troy.
I'm not entirely sure what these would have been, so I'm going with olive oil (obviously), fish (no-brainer), ritually slaughtered meats (naturally), and a variety of salad and cheeses. Dieters will also be allowed one slice of chocolate cake per week (Trojan horse).
I also recommend that thirty figs be consumed with each meal, which will be known as "The Fare That Launched A Thousand Shits."