I once held opinions about things, but these opinions changed all the time. They were like treacherous, shape-shifting beasts prowling around my brain with no sense of direction. It was a zoo of ideas in there: mostly monkey and reptile houses with a small section reserved for wildebeest and rhinocerous. There were numerous elephant stampedes in cerebellum safari park.
Nowadays all those howling and screeching opinions have been sent back to the wilderness where they belong. Only rusted empty cages and ersatz, sun-bleached savanah remain. I am currently building a Zen garden of tranquility on the ruins. It is called La Apathy. If you ask me about climate change or abortion I will merely toss a small pebble into my ornamental pond, observe the ripples, nod and smile inscrutably.