Economic Sense of Yesteryear

Without the shadow of a doubt the greatest story ever told, the most fabulous science-fiction fantasy, the most epic tale, the most daring saga of an enduring quest is the Hero's journey to pay his phone bill. Not only must he locate the legendary stamp, he must also confront the evil "phone company".
Of course, the Hero can never actually slay the phone bill since it comes back to life again every month. This is why it is such an exciting story and such an enduring myth. And it's much better than that Lord Of The Rings load of crap.
Of course, both Freud and Jung believed that the paying of a phone bill was merely a modern version of an ancient fertility rite.
Essentially they believed that primitive man owned an old and dusty tome which they called "The Phone Book". Primitive man would look in the phone book under the heading "Child Bearing Hips", and this way he was able to contact a woman and ask her to be his brood mare. If he did not pay his phone bill, well, his phone would be cut-off, and his line, as it were, would become extinct.
Meanwhile
Since the cost of Healthcare in the States is so high, I decided to see a Voodoo Priestess about my back problems. On the face of it this seemed like the cheapest method of obtaining decent treatment for what is an extremely annoying complaint.
So I set sail for the West Indies aboard a tramp steamer called the Smelly Foot. The journey took several weeks and I had to bring my own lunch. When we landed in the West Indies I had to hire a guide and pack mule to ferry myself and suitcases to the jungle clearing where the ceremony to cure my persistant back ache would take place. But first I had to buy the three live cockerals who were going to have their throats slit. All in all, considering my travel costs, live stock expenses, Voodoo Priestess fee, and then tipping the hypnotic tom-tom drummers, the entire trip and remedy was extremely costly. The moral here, is that my annual HMO subscription is actually pretty good value.

Comments

[KHH]

As a diehard LOTR fan, I agree to some point. When I first move into my apartment I called the local phone service provider to setup my phone. I was then barraged during the call to sign up for 18 other features that came with the phone including Star Wars Defense Technology. Agreeing to whatever things they said, they set up a date to install the line with the usual appointment time 1-5pm.

So, I take the day off from work to wait and wait and wait and wait, and then wait. No one shows up (this was during the massive power outage last August). So, I call and ask what is going on. They say sorry they couldn't send anyone out there, they'll come tomorrow, which I lose it on. Fine, ok, we set up another time the next day. The next morning I receive a call saying that they goofed and they did set up the phone line the actual day they showed up.

So, I check the phone line at the apt. and there is no dial tone. Well, I call back to learn they only guarantee a connection the apt. complex's phone room and I'd to pay for and arrange for that connection to my apt. So, I promptly loss my temper and told them to cancel my account with them. They told me fine, but I'd still have to pay installation fee. I said, you didn't install anything or else I'd be talking to you on my phone line rather than cell. Push came to shove and they sent me a $5.00 check for any inconvience which I didn't cash but kept as a wereglid of my victory over the phone company.

Oh, you can also pay most of your bills online. Not a bad thing to do, if you ask me. Oh and don't even get me started on healthcare. I had a physical yesterday with my doctor in which I waited an hour to see him for a 10 minute inspection. Heck, the guys who change the oil in my car, take 20 minutes to do so. God bless our healthcare system.