Customer: Excuse me. I bought this dream here last week but I’m afraid to report that it’s defective.
Salesman: That’s highly unusual sir. What exactly was the problem?
Customer: Well, it was supposed to be a Night in Paradise with my ideal woman dream...
Salesman: The “remember it all in the morning" deluxe dream, or just the “hazy recollection" budget model?
Customer: Actually it was the mid-range “flash of total recall the following lunchtime” dream.
Salesman: Oh yes. Number 352. That comes free with a fleeting daydream of a pair of enormous breasts, doesn’t it … Hmm … So what went wrong with your experience, sir?
Customer: Well, I was only five minutes into the dream and my ideal woman suddenly turned into a giant slimy lizard. And if that isn’t bad enough, I got the flash of total recall at lunch today and nearly choked to death on my sandwich.
Salesman: I see. So it wasn’t the dream system that malfunctioned, then, it was just the content of the dream that didn’t meet your requirements.
Customer: Yeah. I suppose you could put it like that.
Salesman: Well, I will let you return the dream this time, sir, and give you a new one. But please be advised that we won’t be so accommodating next time. You see, sir, the trouble you experienced is not really the dream’s fault at all. It would actually seem that is your own perverted and gross subconscious desires that caused the dream to malfunction in the manner you describe. To put it very simply, sir, if you were not so psychologically messed-up, and your soul not so devoid of true human feeling, the dream would have worked as advertised on the package. So in future, please do not blame the Dream Store for your own shortcomings and personal problems.
Do I sense an inconsistency here? If your soul is as perfect as the salesman seems to require, then you probably wouldn't have to buy your dreams in the first place.
And what ever happened to the concept of service? That salesman sounds kind of stuffy to me. Refusing a return is acceptable, but you still have to be polite to your customers. I hope the manager wasn't on the floor, else the salesman might get fired from his dream job!
No, I didn't write all that just to get to the silly joke (not that I'm above such a thing).
Posted by: Andrew | June 18, 2004 at 19:42
As you can tell from the post directly above, a little inconsistency is one of my favorite things!
Posted by: stephenesque | June 19, 2004 at 12:21
Could you please advice me as to how to free advertise in all search engines in the web, for the woman I`d like to meet?
YOU WERE BORN IN 1951, SIGN LIBRA, BLONDE, GREEN EYES, YOU`RE SWEET AND TENDER. PROBABLY A WIDOW, TEACHER OR DOCTOR, OR SOCIAL WORKER. YOU`VE HIGH HOPES, LIKES TO TRAVEL, MUSIC, READING, ALSO SPEAK SPANISH OR FRENCH. PLEASE EMAIL ME CONFIDENTIALLY
[email protected]
Posted by: B. | July 27, 2007 at 15:06
Could you please advice me as to how to free advertise in all search engines in the web, for the woman I`d like to meet?
YOU WERE BORN IN 1951, SIGN LIBRA, BLONDE, GREEN EYES, YOU`RE SWEET AND TENDER. PROBABLY A WIDOW, TEACHER OR DOCTOR, OR SOCIAL WORKER. YOU`VE HIGH HOPES, LIKES TO TRAVEL, MUSIC, READING, ALSO SPEAK SPANISH OR FRENCH. PLEASE EMAIL ME CONFIDENTIALLY
[email protected]
Posted by: B. | July 27, 2007 at 15:09
lol thats funny nice post
Posted by: Metal slug online | May 07, 2011 at 00:25
the ways that I average about 12,000 visitors daily. I'm not talking about HITS. HITS means "How Idiots Track Statistics." I'm talking about 12,000 unique visitors.
Posted by: Click here | January 24, 2013 at 05:48