The Johnsonian Belch

It is no difficult thing to imagine Shakespeare's deep and sonorous voice echoing around the Globe as the Bard declaimed his own soliloquies; even Kit Marlowe's reedy trill floats and plays easily in the mind's ear.
But divine the sound of the Johnsonian Belch? A true, honest-to-God Dr. Samuel Johnson belch? Nay sir, and thrice nay, I say!
To this day, the Johnsonian Belch remains an aural mystery to human understanding and euphonic perception; a basso vibration so far removed from the conjurings of modern science that it can not be duplicated by even the most sensitive and fine-tuned components of audio equipment .... unless your name is Fred Lumper, and you are the subject of an in depth study by Dr. S Baldwin, B.S.E
Stout, florid of face, and suffering from a touch of the gout, Fred Lumper perches precariously upon the rickety wooden stool in his kitchen, powdering and re-shaping horse-hair wigs. Every thirty seconds, Fred interrupts these musty labors by licking his lips as he chooses a ripe and pickled gerkhins from the special jar beside him, he then pops this juicy delicacy into his mouth and washes it down with a flagon of ale.
Every two minutes Fred will stoop down to rig a large slice of mutton or beef from the joints of meat arranged around his boots. These portions are often accompanied into Fred's mouth by thick slabs of wholemeal corn bread, more ale, several pickled onions, a radish or two, boiled potatoes, a selection of raw carrots, and yet even more ale.
After the digestion process is complete, Dr Baldwin places his omni-directional, state-of-the-art microphones in a semi-cicular pattern around Fred's blubbery lips and gives the signal. Fred will then select an archaic word at random from the ancient, dusty dictionary which lays open on his ample lap. As he pronounces his chosen word Fred will simultaneously belch into Dr. Baldwin's mircophones, and the resultant noise is recorded on to Dr Baldwin's digital tape deck.
By varying the order and total poundage of the food stuffs consumed by Fred, in tandem with a reduction or increase in the quantity of ale Fred drinks, and also a correct pot-luck word choice, Dr. Baldwin hopes to one day capture an authentic Johnsonian Belch - as it would actually have been belched by Samuel Johnson himself - on his whirring machines.
We wish this Boswell of the Belch - God speed!