Recently, prior to scrubbing the stone floor of the "soporific halls of Sleep" with my eyelashes, I have occasionally found sufficient wakeful minutes remaining to study several verses of Charles Martin’s new translation of Ovid’s Metamorphoses, which, as its name implies, is a very epic and ancient poem about things being transformed into other things, usually at the divine behest of some lovesick or grouchy deity.
So what catastrophic faux pas, one wonders, has Ben Stiller committed to so offend almighty Jove that the leader of the gods has taken time off from his skirt chasing to change the star of Something About Mary from a reasonably amusing actor into a third rate peddler of the world’s most insipid fart jokes and passé pratfall gags? Why have the Muses abandoned him, and why must whatever talent he possessed languish with Pluto in the underworld, never again to see the light of day? And why is Ben Stiller, like the remorseless eagle swooping down to hack Prometheus’ liver from his bloody chest each night with its vicious talons, now similarly forever fated to savage our local theater screens each evening with his wretched face in yet another shocking example of horrific cinematic carnage?
Alas, I have no answer to these questions. Do I look like an exiled Roman bard? No. No I don’t, do I.
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And if you did, you'd look like Virgil, not Ovid.
Posted by: Quicquid | June 22, 2005 at 09:50
It isn't just Stiller - the brothers themselves have failed to approach the artistry of "Mary" in any of their subsequent movies. They are simply over-the-top and ridiculous, but not in the compelling, wonderfully-timed, and fitting way of the comic masterpiece.
The Muse is fickle. I'm just glad they captured her essence that one time she was with them.
Posted by: Fcb | June 22, 2005 at 12:50
What about the Butterscotch Stallion, the Caramel Mustang, and the Relatively Obscure Pinto (names generated by Defamer)? What about them?
Posted by: rannva | June 22, 2005 at 16:15
What about the Butterscotch Stallion, the Caramel Mustang, and the Relatively Obscure Pinto (names generated by Defamer)? What about them?
Posted by: rannva | June 22, 2005 at 16:17
Why was the previous comment posted twice? Why?
Posted by: Bleak Mouse | June 22, 2005 at 22:32
Why was the previous comment posted twice? Why?
Posted by: Bleak Mouse | June 22, 2005 at 22:32
How I love existential comment angst first thing in the morning.
Posted by: Quicquid | June 23, 2005 at 08:11