The Ghost of Apartment 2a

Perched on the top step of my old front stoop like a weary king slouching on a well worn throne, abandoned by all his courtiers, awaiting, perhaps, the clamoring victorious arrival of his usurpers, I notice that this building has no cable nor satellite feed. Reception is poor here, and flickering blue distorted cathode ray images only remind me of my own reflection: indistinct, ephemeral. Who will TiVo this ectoplasm and watch it later?
A tiny rampaging bobblehead ant slaloms around invisible obstacles, then pauses, maybe to radio his position back to others in his unit, or maybe because he has suddenly realized all his companions have disappeared and he is on his own like me.
Ah, life today is free for those that can afford it but very expensive for those that can’t: a shame, since life was actually pretty cheap when I was alive. You could buy a whole good innings for under thirty grand – or less, if you were willing to put up with some malfunctioning parts. I knew one woman who purchased a seventy-five year life span and it only cost her a total of five thousand dollars after she had taken advantage of the Former Yugoslavian citizenship mail-in rebate offer. Yes sir, there were some sweet deals to be had back then.
Of course, some people who bought big eventually got fed up and went looking for a refund, but what were they going to do with that late cash influx – order an Armani shroud? Commission Richard Serra to decorate their tomb? No way. Life was too cheap for their refund to provide for that kind of egotistical largesse. And so these people’s refunds just sat in the bank gathering more mold than their rotting corpses.
How I wish I could haunt one of those nice new condos across the street with the central air and all those HDTV channels options.

Comments

[Bleak Mouse]

I understand that haunting futures options are terribly overpriced nowadays, though we can always hope that the bubble bursts soon. Victorian mansions and cemeteries are of course the most popular, but there may be bargains to be had yet by those who think outside the box, as it were.

[stephenesque]

Good point. How does a cremation urn fit into a third party fire and theft insurance policy?