A Faith Based Initiative

Of the moderns, it is really only the dancer Nijinsky and myself who still maintain that "Trial By Combat" is the best, fairest and most legitimate method of resolving any dispute. When furiously writing what I cherish as the greatest sentence ever committed to paper, Nijinsky brilliantly challenged Diagalev to a bullfight: an excellent idea and a contest that the arrogant Russian promoter would surely have lost. Personally, the full-bodied Anglo-Saxon blood that streams in scarlet torrents through my martial veins demands arms forged by Vulcan of iron and steel: namely, the battle-axe and the broadsword. A powerful blow to your enemy's throat or a single stab into their ribs and the argument is settled for good.
For example, as far as nominations to the Supreme Court are concerned, if Harriet Miers can vanquish me in the Field of Combat or force my courage to submit to her superior fighting technique while we lunge and parry around the Arena of Death, well, then I am quite prepared to agree that decisions from the bench based on Evangelical Christian doctrine are the way forward. But if she should be beheaded by my trusy blade instead it must be announced that someone of more moderate opinions will be elected Now that's what I call a judgement. Any takers?

Comments

[DarkoV]

If waht it takes to be splattered in pictorial splendour is my headless torso, then come swing away.
"Little Matty Groves, he lay down and took a little sleep
And when he woke Lord Donald was standing at his feet

Saying "How do you like my feather bed, and how do you like my sheets
And how do you like my lady gay who lies in your arms asleep?"

"Oh it's well I like your feather bed, better I like your sheets
Best of all I like your lady who lies in my arms asleep."

"Get up, get up," Lord Arnold cried, "get up as quick as you can
For they'll never say in England that I killed a sleeping man."

"Oh I can't get up, I won't get up, I wouldn't get up for my life
For you have two long beaten swords, and I not a pocket knife."

"It's true I have two beaten swords, and they cost me deep in my purse
But you shall have the better of them, and I will use the worse

"And you shall strike me the very first blow, strike it like a man!
For I will strike the very nex blow, I'll kill you if I can."

So Matty struck the very first blow, and he hurt Lord Arnold sore
Lord Arnold struck the very next blow, and Matty struck no more "
-"Matty Groves"-Traditional

[stephenesque]

I actually thought it was Lord Darnell? At least I believe it is in the Fairport Convention version o' the songe.

[Bleak Mouse]

Wait a minute. Is Darko suggesting that Lord Darnell/whatever is Stephen, and that the ladie faire is Harriet Miers? Or is Matty Groves Harriet Miers? Then who is the lady? Or that Stephen is Matty Groves, Lord D. Harriet, and the lady -- whom?

This is another of those cases where I'm not sure who is doing what to whom, with what, and why. Much like politics, I suppose.

[stephenesque]

Bleak: I am suprised you are not a Fairport Convention fan. I find that very odd. Still, in similarly themed songes the Matty Groves character appears as the Raggle Taggle Gypsy or the Black Jack Davy, neither of whom bear much resemblance to me, therefore I must be the cuckolded Lord Darnell.

[DarkoV]

Hmm, now I'm confused.
Here ( http://www.chordie.com/chord.pere/www.guitartabs.cc/fetchfile.php?fileid=6099110 ) it's "Donald". Yet, here (http://www.broadside.org/music/lyrics/matty.html ) it's "Arnold".

But here (http://celtic-lyrics.com/lyrics/559 ) it's that dreaded "Darnell". This last site is Traditional. The first two are allegedly Fairport Convention's.

What with Arnold, Donald, Darnell, and Matty all milling about in the bedroom, I'm surprised the good LAdy was not handing out those electronic beeping pods they hand out at restaurants to let the patrons know of her availibility. Why, if she did hand these out, perhaps thw song would not have been about swordplay but rather of sloppy seconds (and thirds).

When Maddy Prior sings it, to this tin ear, it sounds like "Donald". Whatever, the bugger's real name was, he was a tough old bird who obviously was not a wispy thing like Matty, who was out with one blow. I'm assuming if you were to go out on the town to taste what the many brew pubs had to offer, you'd be choosing Donald/Darnell/Arnold and leave Matty home to feed the cats.

[DarkoV]

..and Bleak Mouse, as to whom I was referring to by providing the selected lines from "Matty Groves" is beyond me. I thought what Stephenesque's comments needed was a touch of Fairport Convention and what with his mention of vanquishing and broadswords, this is the best I could come up with.
If I've derailed the oncoming allusions, I apologize...

[stephenesque]

"Never apologize. Never explain."
And you should certainly nevr apologize for the wonderful comments you leave on my blog!

[Bleak Mouse]

I am, let us say, a MINOR Fairport Convention fan, whose various recordings I keep in my small but lively collections of Celtic and English folk music.

I'm surprised that you're surprised, Stephen. Erroneously, I think.

Traditional ballads, Darko, often muckle about with the proper names of characters, depending on the source. It was an oral tradition, and one not given to avoiding taverns, so certain alterations were inevitable.

[Bleak Mouse]

Oh, yes, and Darko, do not mistake my sometimes misguided attempts at wit for criticism.

Criticism I usually accompany with a steel glove across the face and a challenge to arms.

[stephenesque]

Well, Bleak, I thought you'd certainly be an Incredible String Band devotee, with at least ALL the Fairport albums even if you don't always listen to them. I always knew you must be a folk music fan, after all, let's face it, didn't you used to be called "Bleak Morris" ;-)

[Bleak Mouse]

No, not ALL of Fairport's; now you give me too much credit. I spent the 1970s immersed in jazz and classical, so I missed a great many good things, but avoided even more bad things. I played remedial catch-up in the 1980s, becoming among other things quite the Richard Thompson fan.

I have the earliest ISP records, which I bought when they first came out. My favorites, I think, are Wee Tam and The Big Huge.

And don't forget The Pentangle, whom I even managed to follow well into the 70s.

I've just heard that there's a Maddy Prior box out, of all things. Comes under the like-to-have-but-probably-wouldn't-listen-to-very-much category.

[Fcb]

Donald? Arnold? A Trump v. Schwarzenegerrer matchup!

I'm still trying to come to terms with Stephen's implicit assertion that Miers is a Man! Otherwise he'd have to vanquish her champion, whoever that might be. And, come to think of it, she has no champion but one, and he is The Queen, though he calls himself "president".

Now: Thatcher - there was a man.

[stephenesque]

Bearded: My faith-based initiative is an "Equal Opportunity" program, therefore ladies are allowed to take their place on the field of combat.

[Bleak Mouse]

Exactly. Contemporary Hollywood movies inform us that women are quite as competent as men on the field of arms, and I have no reason to doubt that every effort at utter accuracy has been brought to bear by the makers of these films.

I just had a vision of a "field of arms" being raised by biogeneticists in farms located in obscure areas of the Northwest.