Faded Phoenician Photostats

In my dual role as Curator Emeritus and Vice-President of Acquisitions at the Robert M. Blinde Institute of Ancient History and Ethnographical Studies, I am pleased to announce that our infamous museum has recently added a valuable Egyptian papyrus scroll to our permanent collection (Everything Must Go! No Reasonable Offers Refused! Call Now! Operators Are Standing By!).
Our expert team of archeologists carefully stole this important document from its resting place in the Valley of the Kings where it lay in danger of being stolen by another team of expert archeologists from somewhere else. Authenticated by eminent forgers such as myself, the breathtaking papyrus is a fine example of early mail-in rebate practices conducted along the Nile basin.
When painstakingly decrypted with reference to some old hieroglyphic dictionary published by Dover Books, the scratchy, ill-defined markings on the papyrus reveal a complex rebate form that entitles the bearer to receive half his bag of salt back when he sacrifices two oxen at the altar of Osiris.
This rare papyrus is just one of over eight million similar mail-in rebate papyrus forms that were never redeemed in the ancient world.
Viewing such artifacts our senses are overcome by an overwhelming affinity with those shoppers of bygone days.

Comments

[Miriam Sawyer]

Have the rebate offers expired?

[stephenesque.org]

Oh yes. Like modern rebates, they expire before you even have time to stick the stamp on.

[Mortimer Shy]

This is the kind of discovery that could change our already poor understanding of ancient history. Maybe finally ruin it for good!