And The Winners Are

After much fierce, astronomical debt acquiring competition, Mr and Mrs Phil Errup of Vinyl Heights have been crowned as this year's King and Queen of Skunkerton Shopping Mall. They were presented with gold-plated "laser" sceptres, his 'n' hers adjustable diadems and coronation parade through the Food Court, led by Skunkerton Shopping Mall representative Mr Mark Down. All sceptres and diadems are exchangable for the winner's choice of eight Orange Julius Eggos at Shiny Pancake or six hours of free parking.

Mr and Mrs Errup, both of whom are heart-warmingly overweight, were awarded their prize after spending over $1000 on foot deodorant at Mega Drugz. In addition to purchasing bulk quantities of these chemical pedicare products, the sweaty couple have also spent good money on Gastro Go, Ass Wax, Face Polish and Mango Hairshit. When not perusing the parmeceutical aisles, both Errups enjoy buying sweat pants, plastic sandals, spangly tee-shirts, So That's What Idiots Call Music CDs, and whatever else they can lay their greasy, fat fingers on before the family's numerous credit-cards inevitably "max out" again.

Why not say 'hello' and 'congratulations' to the victorious couple next time they are causing interminable delays at the bank with their cretinous inability to understand simple directions.

Comments

[rorosen]

did this glamorous couple neglect their reproductive duties? why have you not described their adorable offspring? if you must embark on these sociological retreats that deprive us of our daily dose, at least upon your return you should compose thorough reports on all the specimens encountered. otherwise there will be treacherous gaps in the fossil record.

[Mortimer Shy]

Interesting that the only nomenclature to survive your rapier punmanship is the "Food Court".

[stephenesque]

That is because I cannot think of anything more loathsome than "food court."
As for the kids, you're right. Maybe they will make an appearance one of these days.

[rorosen]

they should pop forth from the greasy counter of Arthur Treacher's fish n chips, already fully formed, clothed, sentient and demanding. And when you watch the family walk away, you marvel at the similar gait and musculoskeletal structure between parent and offspring. You see the fate of the body in its temporal sequence. I love to notice that, don't you?

[Mortimer Shy]

Rososen, you should have your own blog, to extend your metaphors to your heart's content. Why are you hiding in the shadows of the Erewhonist?