When will the inky-fingered hacks of the American media realize that the New Orleans flood fiasco was engineered by the Machiavellian Pharisees of the Bush administration to distract attention from the extremely disturbing fact that those ignorant and incompetent White House apparatchiks still allow raindrops to dribble out of the ozone holes in the sky and onto the heads of innocent civilians? Exactly what is the Pentagon up to? Latest figures from the Oprah Institute indicate that unregulated raindrop emissions are responsible for at least thirty-four different kinds of female baldness. Is it any surprise, then, that Bush, Blair and the other patriarchal wig barons do nothing? And according to a report released this week by UNESCO, Africans from many parts of Asia routinely get very wet when it's rainy because greedy Western capitalists have stolen all the fabulous designer umbrellas that were a gift from Bob Geldof and other concerned celebrities. But what does the United Nations do about it? They make chunky chicken soup, play lite jazz selections on iTunes and stare out of the window listening to the pitter-patter while sipping hot tea. Granted, that's a good start, but surely more aggressive action needs to be taken. If only Al Gore had stopped snoring, had not bumped his head and not gone to bed, and could've got up in the morning, then perhaps we might have avoided this illegal and unnecessary precipitation mess.
Hat tip to Instapundit
Comments