If you are going bald it is because all that absent hair is being siphoned off through your nose. Barbers won't tell you this since they are all in league with the ear people. Whatever. That is their affair. At any rate, once upon a time I could boast of clean and airy nostrils, but alas, these days my nasal passages are full of tumbleweeds and briars. This hirsute state of affairs is especially annoying when I am vexed with a sinus cold and all the snotty stuff gets entangled in the undergrowth, like a vast green sea swamping an enchanted forest. I was so irritated by all the resultant sniffing and snorting that I recently went to consult a laser hair removal specialist.
"Stick those laser beams up my damned nose and give it maximum voltage." I told the woman. "Burn these troublesome bristles away. Burn them out, I say."
In the end she persuaded me to purchase one of those battery-operated nose trimmer things instead, but I wasn't happy about it.
(in case you're wondering, this is much, much less than you need to know)
It is hard to believe you are going bald, from your blog picture. You might consider dressing in more modern clothes, however. And perhaps let that tiny creature you are holding in your hands loose. I can't tell about the nose hairs, but radical procedures are not necessary to get rid of them. The method I use is to drink Spicy Hot V-8 Juice, which also improves your eyesight, for eight seconds. But this isn't about me--on my blog I am represented by a typewriter.
Posted by: Edward Williams | March 22, 2007 at 02:58
I'm somewhat afraid to ask, but is that title a reference to The Cult?
Posted by: Carter | March 22, 2007 at 14:49
Edward - I've tried the spicy hot V-8 juice, all it did was perm the hairs. Not the required effect. But thanks for the advice on my picture.
Carter - A reference to the rock group The Cult? No. A reference to the Moonies? Absolutely.
Posted by: stephenesque | March 22, 2007 at 14:58