Breakthrough

Using iOuija, my new psychic web browser, I have been able to make internet contact with a spirit blogger from beyond the grave. It is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of the Sherlock Holmes stories and amateur parapsychologist, but for some reason he uses the blogger name "Little Debbie."
Unfortunately his posts are very short and often hard to decipher, mainly because he's only got a cheap ectoplasmic dial-up connection. Apparently the IT guy on the other side is constantly tied-up trying to help deceased old ladies send transcendental Instant Messages to their bereaved relatives. You can imagine the sort of dull, uninformative bandwidth-clogging crap they write:
"We are all very happy here.
BTW, your Uncle Bertie is with us. LOL
So deathbed confession does work after all!
G2G - Luv Freda (1922-2003)"

Typical. Here I am with the chance to learn important, groundbreaking facts about life after death, and my lines of communication are blocked by the chatterbox shades of decomposing gossip mongers. This is exactly the sort of thing that drove Houdini up the wall.

Comments

[OutOfContext]

Interesting. I am only able to connect to fictional characters online. The dead prefer to text me.