The Way We Dream Now

Far too hot and flopping around in my bed like a dying haddock on the deck of a Japanese trawler, I suddenly found myself brought to my senses by the Tooth Fairy, tapping at my forehead with her molar-tipped wand.
"Young man," she said, mistakenly, "Are you little Tommy Taylor, aged five and three-quarters, who has left a tooth for me under his pillow?"
"Who the Hell are you? The Tooth Moron?" I replied rather groggily. "Of course I'm not little Tommy Taylor. That should be immediately apparent even to a blind old miniature crone like you with a brain as minuscule as yours so obviously is."
"Well well!" she exclaimed. "If you're not little Tommy Taylor then I just don't know what to do. Really I don't."
"I've got a good idea." I told her. "Why don't you buzz off back to whatever gingivitis infested saliva swamp you emerged from and let me get back to sleep."
"Now I'm beginning to remember who you are." she said. "You were the obnoxious child in the fez who ate too much Turkish delight. I always got cramp carrying your nasty yellow teeth back to Fairyland since all those fillings you needed made them extra heavy. The other fairies used them as grave markers because they were already horribly tombstoned. Honestly, I think I've seen less tooth decay in the mouth of plague-ridden water rat. By rights I ought to reclaim all those silver dollars I left for you. And you certainly didn't spend the money on charm lessons, that's for sure!"
And this was when I suddenly decided to armpit the Tooth Fairy to death.

Comments

[Anna]

So funny, copied to my dentist!