The Devil's Subway Pass

"The forthcoming end of the world," wrote the Reverend Dr. John Cumming in 1860, "Will be hastened by the construction of underground railways burrowing into infernal regions and thereby disturbing the Devil."
Personally, although I vaguely sympathize with his conclusions, I'm not entirely convinced that the author of  'The Destiny of Nations as Indicated in Prophecy' got it completely right. After all, it seems unlikely that such excavations and tunnelings, or even the subsequent early morning rumbling of subterranean trains themselves would bother Satan very much, since development of Commuter Hell is surely all part of the great Demonic plan rather than an annoying inconvenience.
Indeed, descending into the murky depths of the subway, reciting my Starbucks coffee order backwards, I often feel as if I am engaging in some ritual Black Mass, awaiting the arrival of the Horned One from out of the darkness beyond.  This is especially true during the summer months, when certain types of female commuter wear so little clothing that, all squashed sweatily together in a tiny train compartment, we might as well be participating in some writhing orgy of naked Devil worship. Then there are the evil subway smells, of course: stale brimstone and rancid sulphur farts. Believe me, sometimes I think the end of the world cannot come soon enough.