Politicians love spewing forth buzzwords into the public arena with the same gay abandon that drunken fraternity brothers love spewing forth tequila into public toilets, and with the same degree of care and accuracy. And so, as we are about to find ourselves wading through the flooded urinal of Presidential Election 2008, I thought I'd provide interested readers with a handy field guide to some of the more popular buzzwords you are likely to hear bandied about:
The Constitution: An old piece of paper signed by old men in olden times that has little relevance to the modern world.
Religion: Usually Christianity, a bizarre desert-based death cult, imported to America by the sectarian nut-job ancestors of those self-important persons who formulated the document described above.
The Economy: Even weirder. An extremely abstract value system developed by greedy userers who hated the gold standard.
Race: A euphemism for "social class."
The War on Terror: A deadly gang fight on the streets of Iraq; an inconvenience at airports, and the US and Iranian governments behaving like two old women hitting each other with their handbags.
The Right to Choose: You have the right to choose not to vote for any of the candidates standing for election.
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