Rephrasing the Aphorism

I was intending to preface this post with a quote from Winston Churchill, but then I realized that he hasn't quoted me once in any of his books, so screw him. And besides, most of what the old cigar-chomping, third-rate bricklayer wrote seems excessively pithy and trite anyway, if you ask me.
For instance, far from being "written by the victors," history is actually dictated to the deaf typist by a spiteful child who is watching it as a re-run of a canceled show on a poorly-tuned black-and-white television through the keyhole of his grandparent's locked bedroom.
Then, three-hundred years later, the history is re-evaluated by a distant relative of the spiteful child's second-cousin who always wanted to watch the other channel but was forced to endure the canceled show re-run instead.
Of course, the original canceled show eventually ends up as a DVD box set, but for some reason Season Two is released before Season One, and so nobody has any real idea what the hell is going on, despite the best-selling "Idiots Guide To" the canceled show written by some illiterate media studies graduate.
Personally, I've always preferred the "woman's perspective" provided by the spiteful child's second cousin's great niece. It has better pictures.

Comments

[Lloyd Mintern]

You have to watch out for important men of history who say things like "history is written by . . ." Probably, they want to be knows as writers themselves, which is more prestigious than being merely a maker of history. As you point out, saying it doesn't make it sol

[Carter]

He persecuted Wodehouse.