The Counting House

In my role as Chief Lord Assessor for the Aristocratic Census Commission I am required to take an annual headcount of all remaining Counts of venerably noble lineage. So far, by scouring the pages of European celebrity magazines, I have counted thirty-four Counts who still insist upon being addressed as "His Excellency." But, alas, six of these were fake Russian Counts based in Monte Carlo, and so do not count as proper Counts despite being active Counts. Of the remaining twenty-eight Counts that could count as proper Counts, at least twelve of them claimed to be Counts of defunct Ruritanian principalities, and on no account will I be held accountable for counting these dubious Counts as proper Counts in my Census of Counts. You can count of that.
Finally, here are the results of last month's quiz. We asked you which famous Count you thought would be able to count to a hundred the quickest in a counting competition: a) Count Dracula; b) the Count of Monte Cristo; c) Count Basie; or d) Count Nikolai Dmitrievich Tolstoy-Miloslavsky.
The answer, of course, was: e) None of the Above, since two of them don't exist, the third is a pretend African-American Count, and nobody likes Tolstoy anyway so he doesn't count either.
Our congratulations go out to the winner, Mr Earl Lord of Baronville, who will be receiving a pair of ermine trimmed boxer shorts courtesy of Dukes Sportswear.

Comments

[Mia Wolff]

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[Dr. Who Christopher Jacket]

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