Despite what you might expect, the Phantom of the Opera is very internet savvy; mainly because all the city's DSL and dial-up cables pass through his subterranean domain and so he gets online for free, but also because he is especially keen on instant messaging since it means he can send unlimited threats to the management of our local opera house. His Facebook page, however, leaves a lot to be desired.
You can't use that picture of you in the mask, I told him, people will think you're a musical theater fag. Why not use an old one of you looking normal. After all, nobody knows you're deformed on the internet. I suppose Faust is okay to list as your favorite music even if it is old boring classical crap. Hopefully people will think you mean the Krautrock band of the same name. But what's all this "in a relationship" business. Who exactly are you in a relationship with?
With Christine, he rasped.
What are you talking about? That's not real relationship. You sing to her through a bloody wall for heaven's sake, I told him, and she just thinks you're a piano-playing ghost who knows her dad. You're living in a virtual reality fantasy. You might as well have a Wii girlfriend, or a Sony Playstation Playmate or something.
I sensed that he was getting angry by the brusque manner in which he flung his cape around his shoulders.
You know, let's just not go to the opera tonight, I suggested in my best placatory tone. Why don't we go to the movies instead. They're showing a revival of The Golem at the Film Archive, that would be cool. Or we could go and see Raoul's new band, they're playing out tonight.
You do that if you want, he spat, adjusting his mask like someone straightening a tie, and leave a message on my Wall telling me how it was. Then he swaggered out.
Some people really ought to get a life if you ask me.
You can't use that picture of you in the mask, I told him, people will think you're a musical theater fag. Why not use an old one of you looking normal. After all, nobody knows you're deformed on the internet. I suppose Faust is okay to list as your favorite music even if it is old boring classical crap. Hopefully people will think you mean the Krautrock band of the same name. But what's all this "in a relationship" business. Who exactly are you in a relationship with?
With Christine, he rasped.
What are you talking about? That's not real relationship. You sing to her through a bloody wall for heaven's sake, I told him, and she just thinks you're a piano-playing ghost who knows her dad. You're living in a virtual reality fantasy. You might as well have a Wii girlfriend, or a Sony Playstation Playmate or something.
I sensed that he was getting angry by the brusque manner in which he flung his cape around his shoulders.
You know, let's just not go to the opera tonight, I suggested in my best placatory tone. Why don't we go to the movies instead. They're showing a revival of The Golem at the Film Archive, that would be cool. Or we could go and see Raoul's new band, they're playing out tonight.
You do that if you want, he spat, adjusting his mask like someone straightening a tie, and leave a message on my Wall telling me how it was. Then he swaggered out.
Some people really ought to get a life if you ask me.
You think that's bad, just you wait! I predict the New Criterion will set up a Facebook! What next? A cruise?!?
Posted by: Brownedbear | June 03, 2008 at 04:39
I had the good fortune to observe The Phantom at close range in Stockholm many years ago. Sadly most of it was shrouded in a heavy hangover. There was some uproar about a chandelier and such but the usher rudely disrupted my cheerful company in the middle of a good joke. Oh well.
Posted by: rannva | June 04, 2008 at 03:05
BB: Yup, that's going to be one, long tedious cruise.
Rannva: a raging hangover is the best possible way to see the work of ALW, if you ask me.
Posted by: stephenesque | June 04, 2008 at 23:25