Economic Recession: Olde Worlde Style

One of Belgium's largest employers of peasants, the painter Pieter Bruegel the Elder, has announced the loss of two thousand peasant jobs from his latest painting, Netherlandish Proverbs.
This follows earlier peasant workforce reductions made by Dutch artist Hieronymous Bosch in his Garden of Earthly Delights.
Latest reports indicate that Bosch plans to reduce the number of peasants being eaten by bird-headed devils in his painting from four thousand to a mere thirty-five.
According to sources at the Castle, a summit meeting of feudal barons and earls has decided to start another war to ease unemployment concerns created by the Bruegal and Bosch setbacks.
In trading news, the bottom appears to have fallen out of the religious relics industry as shares in pieces of the true cross and the skull of Saint Anthony have fallen sharply due to unforeseen Enlightenment factors.
Consumer confidence in magical cures effected by weird potions concocted from the livers of fabulous beasts also remains low.
Alchemists in Prague have failed in their attempt to turn base metal into gold and conservative treasury analysts at court are demanding that all alchemical research grants be terminated and that Paracelsus is banished from the kingdom.
This just in: a witch has ridden a pregnant cow on the sabbath causing its milk to go sour, and consequently a significant milk shortage should be expected as early as cock crow tomorrow.
Finally, despite protests from leading Privy Councilors that there is no scientific evidence for Bubonic Plague, many villagers have developed terrible red sores on their bodies and dying in extreme agony.
We'll bring you further updates as they happen (about three weeks late if the news must travel by ocean going vessel, but only two if on horseback).

Comments

[Anna]

Things sure are tough if Bruegel's being fruegel, Bosch is short of dosh and the barons and earls can't stake their crap games. Perhaps the Exchequer could ride the crime wave and sell pardons?