Christmas in Beacon Hill

As usual, I am hosting Good King Wenceslas in my Boston apartment over the festive period as the poor man has no family of his own. Yuletide in Beacon Hill just wouldn't be the same without that jolly old Bohemian monarch sitting by the fire talking about distributing alms to the poor. But the highlight of the Good King's stay is undoubtedly when he does his famous "look out of the window at the snow" thing during our Feast of Stephen celebrations. It's usually a great and memorable moment, and we often even invite the neighborhood kids around so that he can describe to them what he sees by the light of the bright winter moon. However, this Christmas I am hoping there will be no repeat of last year's fiasco.
Unfortunately, when Wenceslas had risen from his armchair at the appointed hour, wiped away frosty condensation from the window pane, and peered out into the Boston night, he had observed to his horror that the snow that lay round-about was neither "deep," "crisp," nor "even." Alas, it had been unceremoniously bulldozed and gritted into haphazard, soiled heaps of brown and yellow muck, which he obviously considered to be a personal insult. Consequently, Wenceslas had turned sharply away from the window screaming "What the fuck is this shit?" at the children assembled around him, most of whom immediately started to cry. "I didn't come all the way from the Czech Republic to stare at frozen dog piss and fucking sludge," he roared as shocked parents began to gather their children and usher them out of the door.
"Wenceslas is not normally like this," I tried explained, "He's normally a Good King." But my words had no effect on my furious neighbors and I don't suppose many of them will be returning for this year's Feast of Stephen.
Later, in the calm light of morning, Wenceslas had blamed the City of Boston's inability to deal with a winter weather emergency, and, as he put it, "Beacon Hill bastards and their stupid little dogs," and perhaps there is some grain of truth in those excuses. Frankly I think he had enjoyed a little too much egg-nog schnapps. But still, there's no excuse for using that kind of foul language during the season of peace and goodwill.

Comments

[Tatyana]

Sent him to Seattle; I hear they have a perfectly even skate ring this season, thanks to enviro-nuts in their City Government.