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July 07, 2011



Well, why not write such a story now that you have the time? This preview already was hugely entertaining.


Honestly Fez I don't know how you knew!!! I spent last evening watching, yes you are clairvoyant, episodes one and two of Lord of the Rings, on blue ray. If I watched it for the plot I would as you say, die of gray-cell implosion. However, much can be said for the graphics. I love New Zealand, it looks very like our landscape here.
We all know that the whole series is a thinly disguised travel-log and an angry reaction by Tolkien to the horrors of WWI and mechanization.
As to your boredom I can truly empathize. I once came down with the flu, which I would swear to you now, was food poisoning, while staying at a friends house. For ten days I had to stay in bed, did I mention this friends father had built his dream house? It was a great log house, the inside was finished with grooved knotty pine. The walls, the floor, and the ceiling. I thought before I was well that I would go insane. I must have counted every blasted knot a hundred times. To this day I cannot abide a room with, "natural" paneling. I wondered just how stir-crazy you would be getting by now?! I wonder will you do what I did after my last illness? Will you repaint the walls, will you change the carpet and the drapes and the entire decor? I even went out and bought a new dresser, and new art to put on the walls. I couldn't stand the looks of that room until I did. Himself was very understanding.
If it is any consolation, boredom is a sure sign of increased health and vigor. It leads to the hope of a full recovery, because there is nothing like boredom as an incentive to get well quicker. That first trip out of the house will feel better than your wildest imaginings.
As to Game of Thrones, I just finished the books. The man has an attention span of a gnat. The moment he gets stuck too long with a character he kills them off. At least Tolkiens bunch manages to stay alive for more than three chapters, ugh. By the time of was through reading I wanted to pinch the guys head off. That and the fact that he has fifteen gillion characters and he wants you to follow them all, even those that are not important to the plot. I forgot, what plot?!
What I want to know is why Fantasy writers must have difficult names for their characters. Not a Bill, Bob, or Tom among them. Well I guess there was Bill the pony, and that weirdo Tom Bombadil, who I truly hated. Now I wonder what Peter Jackson will do with the Hobbit?
I know, I know, I admit it, I do read fantasy from time to time, it beats the bleep out of, "Bodice Rippers," which every housewife in America is supposed to be addicted to, which I'm not, and can't stand. Who writes such bleep! If ever there was a waste of paper, they are it.
But one cannot always read such heady tomes as the Decline and Fall of the British Aristocracy, can one?! I did read Josephus once, its funny, with a few name changes, you might think it was Tolkien.


Last night saw the final saga, Return of the King. Has there ever been a whinier character than Frodo?! I wish Sam had thrown him into the fire. In the scene where they have just run from the inner fires and are now perched upon the rock just inches from the molten lava, Frodo begins, "waxing elephant", about how he can now see the Shire. Sam meanwhile looks like he has swallowed curdled milk. He is thinking of his lady love and Frodo is a twit. Oh Sam I'm glad I am here with you! Hug! hug! I think Sam wishes at that point he had let Gullom throttle him. I have always wondered why Sam wasn't given the ring in the first place?! He would have trucked to the mountain in half the time, stuck a knife in Gullom, and hoofed it on up and chucked the ring in. Instead we get days of whiny wall flower, Frodo. His eye rolling fits were sickening, but I thought Elijah Wood was the perfect person to portray him, as he didn't even have to act.


I just read this article this morning and if you have ever thought truth was crazier than fiction you must go to Seattle's KOMOnews.com and read the following story. It is headlined under,Goat-goring death sparks ban on peeing near Olympic Park trails. If this doesn't entertain you nothing will. This is government at its finest.


What! No one even cares enough to correct my misspelling of Gollum?! On that note, I shall take my ball and go home. Actually I'm off to work. Yesterday we dropped a votive candle off the counter. I saw it fall, as did my boss who dropped it. It fell into another dimension, for when she went to pick it up it was no where to be found. We tore apart shelves, and boxes and searched thoroughly the entire area. The thing had vanished. In the end I had to go to the back and get the customer another candle. We actually had the conversation wherein we believed we had imagined it all, but the cash register doesn't lie, and we had both seen it fall. The thing is no more. We have a rift in the dimensional plain we didn't know about and the candle fell through it, so now some Whargnot, in another universe, is the proud owner of a cinnamon and sugar spice candle. I just hope the fool doesn't eat it.

American fez

The Lord of the Rings was written for children, so I think we can forgive the story if it gets a little sentimental. I've never read the book or seen the movies. The bits and pieces that I have seen seemed like a rather heavy handed for my taste.
I don't dismiss the genre at all. In fact, what I have looked at seems much more interesting and intelligent than what passes for most modern fiction. It's just not really for me.


But absence of socialists busybodies of all colors, from pink to brown, is the point of all escapist fantasy literature! occurred to me - said socialists should be grateful to said fantasy writers - or accumulated derision and contempt to red plague, without a vent, might explode one day and bury them all, a new Bastille Day in reverse.

get well soon, write us a funny sarcastic mini-story in a post

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