Per ardua ad astra - "through adversity to the stars" - is the motto of the Royal Air Force; and since many of us struggle with ever skyrocketing medical costs, it is undoubtedly within such heavenly spheres that the resolution to our healthcare conflicts can also be found. I'm talking about the advanced biological research of scientists from other planets. In other words: little green doctors with antennae sticking out of their heads.
Almost all alien abduction stories contain an description, however hazily recalled, of some sort of mysterious medical examination being conducted on the human captive. Such extraterrestrial operations usually occur without the victim's consent: the humanoid is abruptly beamed aboard ship and poked and prodded like a prize-winning pig, just for the entertainment of snooty Martian medicos. Abductee accounts make the experience sound like a Grey's Anatomy and Battlestar Galactica TV crossover event. But perhaps it doesn't have to be that way. Perhaps it could be an entirely new show called Spock MD.
It seems to me that developing a meaningful dialogue with these scalpel-toting E.T.s might very well supply a workable solution to our healthcare problems. A mutually beneficial bargain could be struck that caters to both the alien's interests and our desperate needs. Uninsured Earthling patients would volunteer to enter an alien ship to have their genitals evaluated for twenty minutes, possibly even get an alien implant or two inserted into their rectums, and in return the alien surgeons would perform a free gastric bypass or any other procedure the patient required. More critical patients could perhaps be transported by saucer-shaped space ambulance to the alien's home planets for advanced treatment, provided that they submit to even more invasive alien probing, naturally. I'm sure it would be relatively easy to get the Hippocratic Oath translated into Grokkian or Chthulu or whatever bizarre telepathic language the alien's speak, so it's a win-win situation all around as far as I can see.
Clearly this approach to our country's healthcare's problems is far superior to Obama's everyone must kiss-it-better plan, or whatever hopeless plan the Republicans are thinking of reanimating with huge shots of privately donated cortizone. Obviously it's completely dependent on the existence of UFOs, but I believe that this is a minor detail in an otherwise extremely practical and affordable solution; a solution that neither of our major political parties has the courage or imagination to embrace.
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In 1951 aliens resembling "huge stalks of metallic asparagus" abducted Fred Reagan and cured his cancer. Reagan died in 1952 from "degeneration of the brain tissue due to extreme atomic radiation", probably emitted by the engines of his abductor's rectangular shaped UFO.
Reagan's experience clearly is the inspiration for the abduction depicted in the 1954 movie Killers from Space, but it wasn't publicized until 1969, which strongly indicates the government or persons within the government had a hand in Killers from Space.
Posted by: Carter | May 04, 2012 at 16:11
I have been unreliably informed that radioactive asparagus is somewhere near the top of the Pentagon's food pyramid
Posted by: American fez | May 05, 2012 at 13:57
I've always thought to be a politician you must first be an alien,as they all follow the same pattern. Say whatever it takes to get into office, then screw the American people any way that you can.
Posted by: Giric | May 21, 2012 at 14:43
time we've been No. 1," he said, "and Hombres Chaquetas Belstaff we've got to get over that. There will be more challenges coming ahead. Everyone
Posted by: Christian Louboutin UK | November 17, 2012 at 03:27