Sardine Workshop

Canned sardines: packed tightly together like humans on a subway train (although the little fishes smell much nicer.) 

Salted, slathered with olive oil, sometimes skinless and deboned, like the unfortunate captives of a particularly sadistic Mongol emperor 

Sometimes they are called pilchards, like a drunken literary critic mispronouncing Rosamunde Pilcher's surname in a Bloomsbury pub.

Sardines contain lots of Omegas, just like the attic at Roger Fry's house.

But they don't stretch much, unlike the present blogger trying to make that last comparison. 

So endeth the Sardine Workshop unsuccessfully. Eat your heart out King Oscar.