I was not serenaded with the final verses of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" until I was in my college; my younger self being spared the tiresome demands for figgy pudding and a cup of cheer that conclude the song in question.
As far as I was concerned, carol singers congregated around our family doorstep solely to convey glad tidings to me and my kin. All they wanted in return were a few measly coins to rattle in their collecting tin (no doubt the money would fund the purchase of a more energy efficient lantern for next year). A brisk exchange of seasonal greetings for my father's cash would bring the performance to an abrupt conclusion, its premature termination apparently a satisfactory outcome for all concerned
So when I did eventually hear those final verses, while trapped in the audience at a college glee club recital one bleak December night before Christmas break, my older, slightly louche self misheard the lyrics...
"Bring us some frickin' pudding! Oh bring us some frickin' pudding!"
I thought the mild profanity was all part of the act. In fact, this gluttonously aggressive chant was the only part of the evening I found remotely entertaining (or musical, for that matter). I even considered joining the glee club if singers were permitted to curse with such joyful abandon. It was not to be, of course.
Figgy pudding? How absolutely disgusting. I can't imagine anything less appetizing. Some traditions should really remain buried in the past.
Meanwhile, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Glad tidings I bring to you and your kin (and you don't have to give me any money or clumps of appalling dessert in a disposal bowl, either).
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