The Acrylic Creep at work is not comfortable in his own skin. It's obviously two sizes too small for him and doesn't fasten properly behind his neck; there's a big, red, hairy bulge there as if it won't zip up all the way or there's a button missing or something like that.
The material is pretty cheap too, definitely manmade, probably polyester but not the kind of polyester that's sporty or active. This is clingy, itchy, sweat-stained polyester that's pilling and seam-stretching into an early grave. The Acrylic Creep's skin is a skin you can't get the smell out of, no matter how many times you drown him in bleach and detergent.
I've recently suggested we should just cut the Acrylic Creep into strips and use him as a cleaning rag. He's not much good for anything else. We certainly can't have him interacting with clients with irritatable skin like his. Ours is a presentation business after all and he looks as though he's presenting a case for the joys of eczema and inflammation.
Surely there must be creams and ointments on the market? Or maybe he could shed his current skin like an average reptile and slip himself into a Snuggie or a pair of regular cotton pajamas, anything except his own uncomfortable skin. I'm frankly sick of feeling the urge to scratch myself everytime I pass by his desk.
You are a cruel, cruel man!
[and that awkward guy reminds me of me...
"Лошадь, не надо.
Лошадь, слушайте -
чего вы думаете, что вы сих плоше?
Деточка,
все мы немножко лошади,
каждый из нас по-своему лошадь".]
Posted by: Tatyana | December 26, 2018 at 00:18
Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.
I translated your quote in Google because that's the best I can do with my limited language skills. Feel free to be cruel!
Posted by: stephenesque | January 04, 2019 at 09:05
Sorry, I haven't checked in awhile.
My quote was from Kindness To Horses, by V.Mayakovsky:
https://vardomskaya.com/2016/07/26/the-good-treatment-of-horses-v-mayakovsky/
Posted by: Tatyana | January 20, 2019 at 13:07