The Emperor's New Palace

Built on what the agent claimed to be "one of the area's most prestigious residential developments," Alfred's new house nevertheless reminded me of an over-sized garden shed. Architecture suitable for California but unlikely to withstand many New England winters. Yet software engineer Alfred pines for a Palo Alto lifestyle so rarely considers north of Boston practicalities.

Inside, the house is no temple of the arts. Alfred likes to bring his work home with him, including the office fixtures and fittings, so his decorating style is best described as contemporary philistine: discount warehouse furniture sets made of synthetic fabrics and materials, designed to be durable rather than attractive. His carpet is stain-resistant, which is fortunate because none of the surfaces are level, especially the floor. 

But it's the cracks already appearing in the wafer-thin walls that worry me. I don't believe they can support the weight of Alfred's cheaply-framed pictures, never mind the ceiling and roof. I've visited portable toilets with sturdier foundations. Never has there been a better example of a house not being a home. If La Courbusier's definition of a houses as "machines for living" is correct, then Alfred's house is a low-tech, hand-cranked contraption barely sustaining the most basic form of life. 

Alfred is most proud of his "prestigious" new address: 12 Newton Court. In fact, all the streets in the development were named after famous scientists. Einstein Avenue, Darwin Way, Edison Terrace, Fermi Lane (cul-de-sac), and so on. "My place is on a corner in the Court," Alfred said. "Top of the range. Great investment, too. I'll sell in five or six years for twice what I paid."

I wondered if the house will still be standing then, but unlike the boy in the story of Emperor's New Clothes I kept my thoughts to myself. Instead, I walked over to the picture windows in the dining room and gazed out at the three giant wind turbines in the distance. "Nice view," I said, tapping the glass with my finger. "But you might want to think about double-glazing." 

Comments

[ETat]

I wonder if in a few fast months there will be any topic left about which one would not be obliged to keep their thoughts to themselves.

[stephenesque]

Indeed. There is no topic too small that does not inflame the mind somebody somewhere.