As if keeping up with the protean world of modern technology was not difficult enough, these days I even find myself bemused by the unrecognizably futuristic toothbrushes currently available at my local supermarket. What was once a basic plastic stick embellished with a small rectangle of perpendicular bristles now resembles a multicolored, six-sided, space-age battle-axe with a comfort-grip handle. The sort of vicious hand-held weapon Darth Vader might choose to clean his teeth with if they practice dental hygiene on the Death Star.
You can also buy an extra-powerful battery-operated "sonic" toothbrush if you so desire. The teeth cleaning equivalent of a domestic chainsaw or personal pneumatic drill. Apparently it is not enough to simply maintain minty fresh breath anymore, you must also annihilate your entire oral microbiome. All plaque residue must suffer the Death of a Thousand Bristles for at least two minutes, including in hard to reach areas. In the end I just left and went to the health food store nearby where I bought an old-style bamboo brush for four bucks.
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