The vapid exhortation "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" has seldom provided me with either comfort or solace. I can't stand the taste of the disgusting cloudy, over-sugared, off-white beverage. I would much prefer, in my time of trouble, to keep the lemons as lemons. After all, a large lemon makes an nice, weighty, hand-grenade sized object to throw at someone's head. I suppose you could fill a water pistol with lemonade, but squirting juice at people is not nearly as satisfying as hitting them full in the face with a whole fruit.
So far, I've been lucky. Life has mostly given me a basket of pomegranates, many apples, several tangerines, and the odd guava or two. Much tropical punch has been made, obviously, which, although a trifle sweet, has sustained me admirably throughout the years. And so as I grow older, I find myself researching various recipes for sangria. I'm just waiting for life to give me the many crates of wine I require and surely deserve.
Meanwhile, yesterday, as I crawled to work in skull melting conditions of excessive heat and humidity, I came across this unedifying spectacle in the street. A case of "When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into the sewer and discard the crushed husks beside the curb." At least the local rats might cure themselves of scurvy, I suppose, should they drink from the limoncello flavored effluent currently irrigating their rodent habitat.
Hmm...so you think it's time to appropriate ordinary objects (like lemons) as projectiles?
Note I'm not using the word weapon, to protect your site from possible accusation of domestic terrorism
https://www.dhs.gov/ntas/advisory/national-terrorism-advisory-system-bulletin-august-13-2021
Posted by: T | August 15, 2021 at 09:57
Thank you for your considerate word choice.
For what it’s worth, I think a fruit fight is the best way to settle most conflicts once arbitration has failed.
Posted by: Stephenesque | August 15, 2021 at 10:40
*note to self: start practicing, or rip the consequences of throwing like a girl*
Posted by: T | August 15, 2021 at 14:04
Pro tip: catapult
Posted by: Stephenesque | August 15, 2021 at 14:32
catapult or slingshot? is the pro's name David?
Posted by: Tatyana | August 17, 2021 at 10:15
I've always felt sorry for Goliath. He probably just got pushed to the front because he was the big guy. A no win situation for him.
Posted by: stephenesque | August 18, 2021 at 09:10
he was no gentle giant
Posted by: Tatyana | August 19, 2021 at 14:12