September, first of the reshuffled and misnumbered months of Autumn and Winter. Surely it would have made more sense to rename these divisions of the calendar after the emperors who succeeded Julius and Augustus? Then kids would return to school in Tiberiust and 'Trick or Treat' their neighbors at the end of Caliguly. Thanksgiving would fall on the 25th of Claudich and Christmas be celebrated in the festive season of Neroary. Those sound like much more fun dates than the dreary and inaccurate Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec sequence we are stuck with for the rest of eternity. Imagine if New Year's Day was the 1st of Unober and St. Valentine's Day was Dueary the 14th. All the romance would evaporate from our almanacs and diaries.
Not that I hold any particular torch for the long dead despots and fallen idols of ancient empires. The world can rename all the months after more modern deities for all I care. I'm quite happy to take my summer vacation in the sweltering heat of late Obamaber and go skiing in early Pricessdianary before the snow melts. Just don't rename my birth month after any popular entertainers, that's all I ask. Imagine having to say something like "I'm turning sixty-five in mid-Beyonce, so nearly eligible for retirement," or "I was born on Elvis the 23rd which puts me on the cusp of being a Virgo." But I have a terrible feeling that is exactly what might happen. You can never trust the shapers of the zeitgeist, especially these days, so perhaps it's just best to leave the calendar as it is, even if it doesn't make numerical sense.
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