Tuesday morning. The sun elbows the moon out of the sky, 'I was sitting here,' and makes itself comfortable with a couple of clouds for pillows then spreads its legs across the land. A fist of light knocks that clump of sleep from your head, wipes away the residue of dreams, and drags you from your bed by what's left of your hair. And the voice of yesterday, still camped in the back of your head, reminds you of all its plans for today, all those tasks that you put off until ....
Meanwhile, the mirror in the bathroom tries to catch your eye: 'Something needs to be done about that nose thing,' its reflecting surface says. 'Do it now with those tweezers while you remember.' But you need at least two cups of coffee before tackling any nose things. Besides, the bathroom mirror can't see your feet so is ignoring the foot thing; and, let's face it, the foot thing should probably take priority over the nose thing, especially this early in the week. Above all, there remains this perpetual lack of energy thing, as if your bones have been soaked in essence of ennui, an invisible problem impervious to tweezers and even the magic potion called caffeine. 'Let's make every day a great day,' sniggers the Ghost of Ambitions Past.
Last Christmas, the Secret Santa gift I received was a desk top calendar of motivational quotes from various sources. I only managed to get to January 13th before changing the calendar's status from desk top to trashcan bottom. The thing about motivational quotes, of course, is that the quotes are often a melange of contradictory platitudes, as if written by an indecisive guru who can't choose between the spiritual and the materialistic. On Wednesday he counsels stopping to smell the roses, then changes his mind on Thursday and advises grasping them by the thorns instead, but by Friday thinks it's actually better to ignore the roses altogether and consider the lilies. Sort of like Rumi refereeing a fight between a hermit and an entrepreneur in the overgrown garden of Mary Mary Quite Contrary.
In other words, reading motivational quotes won't boost your energy levels. You'd be better off with a daily calendar of Shakespearian insults or Gary Larson cartoons. At least they might be amusing and laughter can always be relied upon to lift the spirits.when nothing else will. If only Confucius had been a comedian who published pictograms of his best skits. And with a grim smile from that thought you get dressed in your sloth costume and ride the electric snail to your office, listening to the voice of tomorrow offering to take care of all those things you were supposed to do yesterday. It's not so bad, after all.
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