Quacks

Head office told us to get all our ducks in a row. Reading their memo, I glanced out of the window as our entire flock of ducks flew south. They weren't so much migrating as fleeing a polluted pond for luxury coops in warmer climes. The only remaining waterfowl on our roster were a random goose or two, notoriously difficult to organize, and that awkward ugly duckling we hoped might develop into something with resale value.

I spent a great deal of my time following web-footed wet footprints around the office, trying to shoo the geese away from the conference room in case they attacked other clients that were in the building. This is a total shit-show, Peter said, indicating a goose going about its business on the lobby. But I guess if we call that crap "guano" we can claim it's imported and charge twice the normal rate, he added with a shrug.

But for all Peter's gallows humor, an uneasy feeling stalked the office, permeating every nook, cranny and cubicle, as if someone had switched the air conditioning controls from 'auto cool' to 'auto fear.' After all, most of us had worked there long enough to remember when we'd been entrusted with promoting the Dodo. What a spectacular failure that assignment proved to be. 

Perhaps we should diversify our portfolio in duck-billed platypuses, Deborah suggested, an entirely new kind of animal but still retaining the old duck theme, then we could maybe expand into beavers and otters. It was not a bad idea but wishful thinking at this point. Sorry Deborah but we need immediate solutions to very pressing problems, not pie in the sky dreams. Then what about just plucking the damn geese and selling their feathers to mattress manufacturers, she replied, throwing her hands in the air with exasperation.

Sorry again, Deb, but even though the situation's dire and that's a practical proposal, do you really want to be associated with a company with a reputation for butchery and hack practices. I don't. I glanced over at the ugly duckling, gloomily pecking at a balding patch of linoleum in the lobby while trying to ignore the hissing geese that surrounded it. Come on, I thought, turn into a swan already you worthless piece of crap. 

Comments

[ETat]

Eh? it's been almost 2 weeks - no new posts...have you left this hemisphere along with the ducks, geese and similar flamingos, to winter in more clement weather?

[stephenesque]

Synchronicity. See time stamp above