In the olden times, back when city book shops were still thriving, I would wander their paperback-bulging aisles for many hours. But like an apprehensive pedestrian crossing the road when confronted by approaching delinquents, always studiously avoiding the so-called Self Help section with its pop psychology best sellers and pop-up chakra alignment guides.
Not that I held any particular animus against positive thinking or personal growth, I just didn't see why I should have to do all this Self Help work on my own. After all, it wasn't my fault if I was born diffident, shy, and melancholic. Surely these apparent defects were an accident of birth and environment and not my fault at all. So I was damned if I was going to spend good money on a book requiring hours of reading and naval-gazing to address them.
Consequently I eschewed Kahlil Gibran, Madame Blavatsky and Norman Vincent Peale in favor of Andre Malraux, Albert Camus and pretty much anyone else who'd been photographed with a very serious expression in the pages of Combat magazine. In those days I thought all the answers were published by Editions Gallimard or could be found by looking through a pair of Vuarnet sunglasses, darkly. In purely literary terms, I obviously made the correct decision but unfortunately found myself smoking far too many cigarettes and drinking entire carafes of coffee, a lethally cliched combination that seriously affected my health. If only I'd researched Tarot cards and pyramid power back then instead of Left Bank arrogance I'd not entertain wheezing second thoughts about ascending the Rue Foyatier steps today.
I suppose that's the wisdom of the ages: follow your mentor's philosophy but for Heaven's sake reject his accessories, whether they be a pack of Gauloises or homemade sandals and a Kaftan. Any form of self-flagellation is the big no-no here, especially carrying a huge cross on your shoulders at Easter or spending your life's savings on an economy plane ticket to Mecca. It's too late for me. I'm typing this at an alfresco cafe table while pontificating about Algerian history to an unrepentant communist. But even though there are no extant city book stores today, if you want to help yourself, there is still time for you to download the complete works of Parmenides to the e-reader of your choice. It shouldn't take long because there's only one work and it's composed of fragments. Now that's the best kind of wisdom, if you ask me.
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